Influences...

The other day I stepped on a big 'ol ugly spider scampering across the floor of my garage.  I recalled a joke I had heard...and told...many times and years ago.

"What was the last thing to go through the bugs mind as it hit the windshield?  His ass."

Just like that spider and the bug on the windshield it can be said, "They never saw it coming."  I've heard many humans utter those words...usually about someone else, and rarely about their own life.  Humans rarely take the time to reflect and look around to see what may be lurking in the shadows.  I'd venture to say that even fewer take the time to become aware of the darkness and/or light that plays tag with each of us within.  Did I say aware???  For hell's sake, even admit to any of it.  Awareness is our foundation of existence. It is the observer within us, the essence of life. Without awareness there is no consciousness, no mind, and no life. It is the core of our being.  It is what gives us the ability to see "it" coming...that separates us from the likes of that spider.

It is time for me to take that inner trip once again.  Over then next week or two I am going to spend some time enjoying the three books that have added the most to my life:

• The Little Prince, by Antoine de St. Xupery - it's influence on friends, family, & relationships
• Walden, by Henry D. Thoreau - it's influence on finances, simplicity, and being still
• Siddartha, by Herman Hesse - my life influence on finding peace, the atman within, and respecting the journey of others

Dance Like No One Is Watching?

I've heard that phrase soooo many times...and seen way too few people do it.  I am guilty of it myself.  Apparently these guys below don't really care.  Which brings me to this short and simple post.  

Source

I'm curious...when I blog about something, anything, should I blog as though nobody is reading or everyone is reading?  Is a blog meant to let others know what is going on in this melon atop my shoulders, or is it a means for me to figure out what is in there to begin with?  There is a lot of stuff running around in my head.  I'm surprised it doesn't make me tired.  A lot of those marathon thoughts are truly interesting...some are just brittpratt (bullcrap).  I know those thoughts, I spend time with them 24/7...sometimes I wish I could escape.  =)  But I'd have to say that if really given the chance, some pretty cool thoughts could be put down for the ages.

The older I get though, the less I find people really care about the thoughts of others.  There are many valid reasons:

• Finding the time to listen or read
• Respecting the one whose thoughts are presented
• Understanding their journey
• Insecurity...feeling that the intelligence gap is too great
• Just plain not caring
• Or perhaps, like Siddartha, one desires to find and learn ones own lessons.

The last one is the most admirable, but the least applicable to 99.9999% of the people I am acquainted with.  Which brings me to the subject of my post.  It seems to be the way I can continually be known...to and by myself.  I have many that love me...but few that care to know me...save my Astri and myself.  I think that is enough of a reason to write now and then.  Enough of a reason to dance (or blog) like no one is watching (reading)...but I'll be looking in a mirror so I know how crazy I look.

Smiling Faces

Most fathers hope...trust...desire...even plead to a higher power, that his children will somehow reflect the better part of his life.  We all want to pass on that part of us that could not be obtained from any other source in life.  Our children are without a doubt a melange of hundreds, if not thousands, of individuals that have played a part in their life.  We've heard it said that "...it takes a village to raise a child."  But I have heard just as often the phrase, "hey, the village called...they want their idiot back."  Years ago I had three of the hoodlums in the same place, at the same time, and attempted to get a picture of them together.  Let's say it took more than three attempts.

Let me not forget the "Photo-bombing" oldest.  (Not that my pose is all that GQ either).

Now, throw the wonderful addition of grandchildren into the mix.  The next generation where we truly see the self-definition of heritage.

We have a total of five g'kids, however two of them are much younger and have not yet been trained in the ways of our family.  However, from the photo below it is apparent that one g'daughter is getting tutoring from her aunt.

The continuum of life, character, integrity...goofy-ness???  Yes, my grandkids are as goofy as those that I personally sired.  I could post a long list of the character traits I'd desire my kids and g'kids to claim to have gotten from me...determination, work ethic, a rationale mind, a quest for simplicity!  But what do they claim from me???  My sense of humor and goofy-ness!!!  Every time something is said, do you know what I hear?   "We get it from you Dad!"  =)  I think it is a cope-out and I am the scape-goat.

One case in point, on their behalf is a photo of when Lizzie and I got married.  Two of the kiddos were present and we decided to do a "silly" photo pose.

However...this was thought of after the photographer took the one below.

Perhaps they should blame me...but for some reason I cannot find ANY other photos of me making a face.  So until they come up with some...don't you believe them for a second!

One Soft Kiss

This Sunday marks the third anniversary of Astri and I getting married.  Looking back, the only days that compare are the births of our six children.  I revel in the idea of looking forward with Astri.  I've seemed to have changed many times over the years; each time I feel I became a better man.  Working through the personal errors, challenging my character when it needed it...I feel I am the best man now that I've ever been. It is a blessing is to have become that man by the time I found Astri.  Knowing that I've become an even better man over the four years we've known each other.  I hope the man I have become will find a continued path; that there is an avenue in Astri's life and in those of our children where this man will have served a purpose...beyond just just a repository for berlinakranser and Astri's carrot cake! <wink>

A couple of years before I met Astri I was feeling a bit creative.  Being a scientist that doesn't happen often, so when it does I need to take full advantage of it.  I am a thinker...and a talker.  At times it is not such an easy act for me to put my thoughts down in prose.

During that "creative" time I was thinking about where I was in my life and where I wanted to be.  Relationships are always a part of that...be it work, personal, or those with our children.  I just happen to start thinking about the freshness of a new relationship.  We have all heard the song "It's in his kiss."  I was thinking about that first kiss, and really how important it is, a memory we never want to let go of.  I asked myself what I would want in that first kiss.  What is below is what I came up with:

After expressing it on paper I found a lady to transcribe it in the calligraphy you see above.  I rolled it up into a tube and put it away.  Then I met Astri.  Our first kiss was exactly as I had written.  One evening I pulled it out and showed it to her (THE POEM!!!).  She had had the same feeling as I described in the poem also.  I had never displayed the poem before, but after our wedding we framed it with a photo from our $35 wedding.  The memory just keeps getting better and better.  I love my Astri!

What the Hell is That???

Okay...Astri and I need some help.

Astri was taking a few photos for her blog that were related to the Norwegian pewter plates she has collected for many years.  The artist passed away a short time ago, so no new plates are to be made.  She just completed her set with the very first plate in the collection...a hard find.

The first picture below is a simple photo of a few of the plates above our fire place.

Now...this is where we need help.  Immediately after this photo was taken I sat down on a piece of furniture just to the left of the photo area.  Astri took another photo from the SAME spot less than one minute later.  The top of my head can be seen in the lower left hand corner of the wall mirror.  But...what the hell is that behind my head!!!  We have spent hours trying to figure it out...showed it to some of our kids, etc.  We have no idea what it is...can you help????

A weird spirit behind me?

Here is a closer shot of the mirror photo.  Our youngest is really creeped out by it.