Saturday, January 8, 2011

Scratch Therapy

I am 55 years old and have never had a professional massage.  I'm not quite sure how one classifies "professional" when it comes to rubbing warm oil all over someones body...but, if that is all it takes my wife is a professional!  =)  I'm sure when the paid oil-rubbers do their thing they have literally had "months" of training...

I'm not dissing on trained massage therapist's...I've known MANY people that pay mightily for the opportunity to be man-handled (not to be sexist here).  Perhaps because I've never paid for a massage I have no idea what I may be missing.  But since I've never been sore enough to pull out my wallet and actually pay to let a strange person (male or female) get that up-close and personal, I have the tendency to wonder why all the "ooooo's" and "aaaaa's" are discussed when the subject comes up.  If I'm forkin' out 85 bucks to give someone a good story to tell at their next cocktail party about the guy with the pimple on his butt, then there better be a good stock tip along with it.

BUTT...I mean BUT...I"ll  tell you what me and 95% of the male population would pay for though...a Scratch Therapist.  Whether it be a slow caress with some kind of Buddah music sliding down the bamboo curtain, all the way to elbows and knees digging into my back with the Rocky theme ricocheting off the walls...NOTHING feels better than having your back scratched.  Now my wife is probably the best back-scratcher this side of Jupiter, and if there is anything between Jupiter and the Sun that is therapeutic...it is her nails.

My point to all this (yes I have a point, at least I think I have a point) is that there are as many ways to scratch as there are to rub.  Stimulating the nerves within the largest organ of the body (our skin...I took biology) seems to make more sense to me than trying to get to and manipulate those damn unseen knots through this stretched-out layer of epidermis.  There are plenty of modal nerves in those slabs of meat...but no sensory nerves.  My wife seems to intrinsically know what kind of contact is required to bring relaxation, peace, confidence, encouragement...or to get me frisky.  It is like a symphony...a blended mixture of instruments, and sequences of rhythmic 2/2, 3/4, and 4/4 time.  Try to incorporate that into a massage.  I am sure that a professional massage allows one to return a bit more relaxed and mobile, but a good scratch session...aaaawwww, the combination of mellowing and mental stimulation.

In the end...I'm just curious why there are no books on the benefits of being scratched...physical, psychological, and sensory.  Perhaps it would be best if my wife and I wrote the first book.  Not as an exhaustive technical treatise, but just because we know what works.  I think I'll discuss this more over time.

~ Digger

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