Purging the Well

I love it when parts of my job/profession translate into real situations.  Even more so, when it is something that I can carry with me and utilize my entire life.  Part of my job has been to characterize the potential for groundwater contamination.  Initially that would require the installation of a well to monitor the quality and depth to groundwater.  A well has a section of pipe that is slotted so that water can enter the well to be withdrawn.  When water is not being pulled out you can see from the illustration below that the water above the screen and inside the well will eventually stagnate.

I learned how to apply this to my life with the "help" of one of my daughters.  We've always gotten along very well, but she has, on occasion, had this thread where she felt she needed to...shall we say...express herself.  By the time my mind finally registered what she was "expressing" she was well underway, and I just be on the verge of getting upset myself.  It would have been very easy to pinch off what she was saying, turn the table around, get defensive, or over power the conversation...but truth be known, I actually found it easier to just be quiet.  This was the stagnant water being purged from her well.  Not to say that there wasn't a knot or two in my stomach the first time or two, but it took so much less energy to just listen.

The purging always took less than a couple of minutes; had I let my feelings get in the way the purging would have never been completed, the well would have remained stagnant, and both of us would have a thread of bitterness in us.  As with the well example, as the stagnant, smelly water is pulled out of the well, it is replaced by cool, fresh water entering the well from the formation.  Eventually it is that pure water that begins to leave the well.  That is exactly what would happen with my daughter.  After a minute or two, as she purged and was actually able to hear the words of her heart belching out of her mouth, she would suddenly stop.  Every time, and I mean every time, she would lock eyes with me, shake her head and tell me "Dad, I don't really believe what I just said."  She needed to hear the stagnant water that had developed within her.  As soon as the fresh water reached the surface she was able to taste the difference.  That fresh water was my little girl.  Allowing her to purge that water is what made it possible to come to resolution on whatever the issue might have been.

The question each of us have to ask ourselves is what happened to allow that water to become stagnant.  What could we have done to keep the well purged, the water fresh, the taste sweet.  Purging is not carte blanche for the "well" to say whatever it wants.  But can be an occasional necessity when the well sits unused for too long.  The groundwater well is an example of giving grace and understanding when a well needs to purge.  As a dad, I learned that I could mitigate these situation by being more aware of simple "well maintenance" and purging the well more often under lighter condition to keep the water from becoming stagnant in the first place.  I learned that this was an issue of how we communicated in those between times.  When a well needed purging, in either direction, it was usually because we ignored something in the interim.

Here is to all of us that enjoy the taste of fresh, sweet water.